This is my unrehearsed IM with an online scammer who is trying to lure me with her sexual appeal.
No dice of course. I floundered around for a bit, but then got inspired.
Players - Jane Williams, Scammer to be and almost certainly a fake name - Steve LeMaire, one of my fake names, I don't like to give out my real name to itinerant would-be scammers..
jane williams: Hello
Steve LeMaire: Hello
jane williams: how are you ?
jane williams: asl pls ?
Steve LeMaire: I'm good.
Steve LeMaire: Do I know You?
Steve LeMaire: You don't look familiar to me.
jane williams: yes
Steve LeMaire: I am 55 - Male - USA
Steve LeMaire: Not that anyone has asked me such a thing in a very long time.
jane williams: well i got your id from yahoo member i feel like talking to you
jane williams: what ?
Steve LeMaire: OK
jane williams: so what is your name and where do you live ?
Steve LeMaire: My name - Steve
Steve LeMaire: I live in Michigan
Steve LeMaire: USA
Steve LeMaire: Where do you live?
jane williams: oh ok
jane williams: well i live in CA
jane williams: so what do you do for aliving ?
Steve LeMaire: Is that Canada or California?
jane williams: california
Steve LeMaire: OK.
jane williams: so what do you do for aliving ?
Steve LeMaire: I am self-employed I guess.
Steve LeMaire: I own a small company.
jane williams: oh ok
jane williams: are youo married ?
Steve LeMaire: Yes I am, hun.
Steve LeMaire: How about you?
Steve LeMaire: What do you do for a living?
jane williams: well am single
Steve LeMaire: Are you married as well?
Steve LeMaire: ok
jane williams: do you have kids ?
Steve LeMaire: Your photo looks great.... you must have guys after you all the time.
Steve LeMaire: Yes I do.
Steve LeMaire: From age 15 to 30
jane williams: wow
Steve LeMaire: Just 5 kids.
jane williams: no i dont have any guy after me
Steve LeMaire: Only the two youngest live with me though.
Steve LeMaire: That is amazing.
jane williams: ok
Steve LeMaire: Are you an actress?
Steve LeMaire: Too busy for guys?
jane williams: what about your wife ?
Steve LeMaire: What about her?
jane williams: no am not too busy for guys
jane williams: that is way am here
Steve LeMaire: Ohhhh. ok.
jane williams: am seeking for the real guy
Steve LeMaire: What do you want to know about my wife?
jane williams: does she stay with you ?
Steve LeMaire: Yes, kind of.
Steve LeMaire: We keep different hours.
jane williams: oh ok
jane williams: so are you alone ?
Steve LeMaire: At the moment.
Steve LeMaire: alone in this room anyway.
Steve LeMaire: She has migraines every day... she's pretty ill.
Steve LeMaire: Not much of a life I'm afraid.
jane williams: oh ok
Steve LeMaire: But I do the best I can.
jane williams: well i think you are married we have nothing to do with each orther
Steve LeMaire: You wouldn't believe how much money we spend every month trying to make her better.
jane williams: how much pls ?
Steve LeMaire: and after 5 years, she is only worse
Steve LeMaire: We are spending about $2000 a month above and beyond what our insurance covers.
Steve LeMaire: A lot of experimental treatments.
Steve LeMaire: Pretty desperate.
jane williams: oh am sorry for that
jane williams: so what do you intend doing ?
Steve LeMaire: I intend to spend all my money on her if that's what it will take.
Steve LeMaire: But, others have told me she doesn't have long to live.
Steve LeMaire: Maybe a couple more months. Who knows?
Steve LeMaire: At least I won't have to worry about money.
Steve LeMaire: We have a huge life insurance policy on her
Steve LeMaire: and me as well.
jane williams: oh ok
jane williams: so tell me more about yourself
Steve LeMaire: She depends on me to take care of everything.
Steve LeMaire: So it keeps me pretty busy.
Steve LeMaire: running my business.
Steve LeMaire: taking care of the kids.
jane williams: yes
Steve LeMaire: doing the cooking and cleaning.
Steve LeMaire: And playing in a band.
jane williams: oh am sorry for that
jane williams: why dont you get a house help
Steve LeMaire: Well. It is my responsibility.
Steve LeMaire: Actually I do have a lady that comes 3 days a week to help out.
jane williams: oh ok
Steve LeMaire: Yeah... I DO need the break.
jane williams: so tell me more about yourself
Steve LeMaire: I have about 25 employees and they need me to check on them and keep things going at the factory.
Steve LeMaire: We make skateboards and skateboard parts.
Steve LeMaire: With special designs and features popular with kids.
jane williams: oh ok
Steve LeMaire: It's an amazing business and competition is fierce.
Steve LeMaire: We also sponsor world class skateboarding champions
jane williams: really ?
Steve LeMaire: and have our own traveling team.
jane williams: oh ok
Steve LeMaire: Like Ryan Sheckler
jane williams: oh ok
Steve LeMaire: He uses one of our boards.
Steve LeMaire: http://www.lat34.com/skate/returning_champions
jane williams: oh ok
jane williams: are you the real ownerr of the company ?
Steve LeMaire: I'm a co-owner
jane williams: meaning ?
Steve LeMaire: I own 50% of the company
jane williams: oh ok
Steve LeMaire: And Justin owns the other half.
Steve LeMaire: We started out together as teenagers in skateboarding
Steve LeMaire: and competed together.
Steve LeMaire: Now we are too old to compete but can do rather well manufacturing the boards, designs and so on.
jane williams: oh ok
Steve LeMaire: Tell me more about yourself.
Steve LeMaire: How old are you?
jane williams: well am 29years old
Steve LeMaire: You are younger than my oldest daughter.
jane williams: well am just here seeking for the right person for me
Steve LeMaire: Well, ok.
Steve LeMaire: You need a young guy.
jane williams: well that does not matter
jane williams: well age has nothing to do with a relationship
Steve LeMaire: True....
jane williams: yes
jane williams: age is just a number
Steve LeMaire: but in 10 or 15 years I'll be 65 or 70 and you'll be 39
Steve LeMaire: and still really hot
Steve LeMaire: And I'll just be a really old rich guy.
jane williams: yes
jane williams: so what are you driving at ?
Steve LeMaire: It will be really boring for you.
Steve LeMaire: You'd want to have an active life
jane williams: i dont understand pls
Steve LeMaire: Really?
Steve LeMaire: Well......
Steve LeMaire: You'll want to go out dancing and doing fun stuff....
Steve LeMaire: I'll be sedentary and feeble
Steve LeMaire: ready to kick the bucket
jane williams: well not just that
jane williams: i want to be loved for who i am
Steve LeMaire: Ahhhh
Steve LeMaire: Don't we all?
Steve LeMaire: My wife loves me as I am... it is the most wonderful thing in the world.
Steve LeMaire: But.....
Steve LeMaire: trouble in paradise.
jane williams: i just need a man that is caring,loving,honest,loyal and faithful
Steve LeMaire: She is ill.
Steve LeMaire: really ill.
Steve LeMaire: I am afraid I'll lose her.
jane williams: no you dont have to say that
jane williams: well if you lose her what are you going to do ?
jane williams: are you going to get a new wife ?
Steve LeMaire: I'll probably start drinking again.
Steve LeMaire: I'll be really lonely I'm sure.
jane williams: no you dont have to drink
jane williams: i know you will be lonely but you dont have to drink
Steve LeMaire: It will be really hard.
Steve LeMaire: I know you are right.
Steve LeMaire: What do you think I should do?
jane williams: yes
Steve LeMaire: Personally. I think I should take things one step at a time.
jane williams: i know it going to be hard but you just have to take heart
jane williams: how ?
Steve LeMaire: My wife isn't gone yet, so it is really too soon to think about replacing her.
jane williams: i know
Steve LeMaire: You are a good person.
Steve LeMaire: I can't hardly believe you don't have a boyfriend.
jane williams: am serious i dont have that is why am online
jane williams: am still seeking
Steve LeMaire: amazing
Steve LeMaire: you are gorgeous.
Steve LeMaire: And a good person.
Steve LeMaire: What part of California do you live in?
Steve LeMaire: ARe you a religious person?
jane williams: san diego
jane williams: yes
Steve LeMaire: What religion?
Steve LeMaire: I'm an orthodox Mormon
jane williams: christian
Steve LeMaire: I have many Christian friends.
Steve LeMaire: THey are nice people indeed.
jane williams: really ?
Steve LeMaire: oh yes.
Steve LeMaire: But my church only wants us to marry other Mormons
jane williams: really ?
Steve LeMaire: Yes.... they are very strict about that.
Steve LeMaire: and in our religion most men take on several wives....
Steve LeMaire: but I only have one
jane williams: ok
jane williams: i think that is better
Steve LeMaire: I am under a lot of pressure from the elders to take on another wife or two.
Steve LeMaire: But my wife is so ill, I haven't had time to think about taking on another.
jane williams: really ?
jane williams: oh ok
Steve LeMaire: Anyone I am interested in would have to be accepted by my wife as well.
jane williams: well i just need to register in some dating sites so that i can find my soulmate
Steve LeMaire: And I'd have to provide a separate house for my 2nd wife
Steve LeMaire: and 3rd wife
Steve LeMaire: It can get expensive.
Steve LeMaire: Good thing I do so well in my business.
jane williams: ok
Steve LeMaire: The chief elder wants me to marry his daughter....
Steve LeMaire: SHe is only 14
Steve LeMaire: But I think I should marry someone a little older, don't you?
jane williams: what ?
jane williams: yes,i think that will be better
Steve LeMaire: At least 21 or older.
jane williams: yes
jane williams: well i think i will need to get a dating sites for myself
Steve LeMaire: OK.
Steve LeMaire: Good luck.
Steve LeMaire: Have you ever thought of becoming a Mormon?
jane williams: yes
jane williams: there is nothing i cant do
Steve LeMaire: Cool.
jane williams: can you help me out ?
Steve LeMaire: Yes
Steve LeMaire: Here is a website that may help
Steve LeMaire: http://lds.org/library/display/0,4945,8009-1-4374-1,00.html
Steve LeMaire: It has a lot of information about Mormonism.
Steve LeMaire: ANd the teachings of our founder Joseph Smith.
Steve LeMaire: Some branches have broken off from the original church and no longer allow men to marry more than one woman at a time.
Steve LeMaire: But the original true mormon church encourages it.
jane williams: ok
Steve LeMaire: I could arrange to have a representative from our church come by to meet you and to share our religion with you
Steve LeMaire: and give you a free book of Mormon.
jane williams: really ?
Steve LeMaire: Oh yes.
Steve LeMaire: Just give me your address.
Steve LeMaire: I already have your name, Jane Williams, right?
Steve LeMaire: Our church believes very strongly in tithing as well.
Steve LeMaire: and helps those in need.
Steve LeMaire: half of our assistance is for members of our church.
Steve LeMaire: but the other half is set aside for people who are not of our church.
jane williams: yes i understand
Steve LeMaire: It is an outreach.
jane williams: but i dont think that will be okay becos i stays with my uncle
Steve LeMaire: And we spend two years as missionaries when we come of age.
Steve LeMaire: OK.
Steve LeMaire: Why would that be a problem.
jane williams: when its time i will like you know
Steve LeMaire: Maybe he would be interested in the church too?
jane williams: i dont think my uncle will be happy about that
Steve LeMaire: Is he a religious man?
jane williams: he dont believe in religious
Steve LeMaire: But he lets you be a Christian though.
Steve LeMaire: Wouldn't he let you be a good Mormon?
Steve LeMaire: Or listen to a Mormon?
Steve LeMaire: I have an uncle too.
Steve LeMaire: He's kind of weird.
jane williams: well i will have to tell him about it
Steve LeMaire: Uncle Freddy.
Steve LeMaire: He was in a bad fire and got burned really bad.
Steve LeMaire: So he looks hideous.
jane williams: ok
Steve LeMaire: Our church helped him out.
jane williams: ok
Steve LeMaire: But he still looks terrible
Steve LeMaire: and I think it has affected his mind.
Steve LeMaire: He's my mom's brother
Steve LeMaire: so his last name is Kreuger
jane williams: but why do you want me to change to mormon if i may ask ?
Steve LeMaire: Oh because I like you.
Steve LeMaire: and if you were a mormon I could marry you.
jane williams: you like me ?
Steve LeMaire: You look like a strong and healthy woman.
Steve LeMaire: and you are nice.
jane williams: yes i am
Steve LeMaire: I bet you would be a good Mormon wife if you had the chance
Steve LeMaire: maybe you could help me take care of my sick wife.
jane williams: well i dont know yet
Steve LeMaire: ok
jane williams: really ?
Steve LeMaire: It is a lot to think about all at once isn't it?
jane williams: yes
jane williams: why do you intend to marry me ?
Steve LeMaire: Because you are young and beautiful and a very nice woman
Steve LeMaire: who is lonely like me.
jane williams: yes that is truth
jane williams: but you are not lonely
Steve LeMaire: Well, if my wife was healthy and able to participate in life, I would agree with you.
Steve LeMaire: But for 5 years, it has been like I have no wife
jane williams: oh am really sorry for that
jane williams: when last have you had sex ?
Steve LeMaire: Oh my....
Steve LeMaire: you mean with my wife?
Steve LeMaire: about 3 years age
jane williams: wow ?
Steve LeMaire: But I get so lonely.
jane williams: but apart from your wife you have sex with another women >
Steve LeMaire: I must confess, I have
Steve LeMaire: But then there is guilt.
jane williams: with who ?
Steve LeMaire: It was with my wife's sister.
Steve LeMaire: It is ok in the Mormon church
Steve LeMaire: But I still feel guilty
jane williams: with your wife's sister ?
Steve LeMaire: Yes.... marry one and if she can't perform her wifely duties her sister can help out.
jane williams: does your wife knows you had sex with his sister ?
Steve LeMaire: She called her to come over so I would have relief.
jane williams: how old is your wife ?
Steve LeMaire: She is 47
jane williams: and how old is your sister
Steve LeMaire: Her sister is 39
Steve LeMaire: sorry
Steve LeMaire: I buzzed by accident
jane williams: but that is very bad
Steve LeMaire: I do not love my sister-in-law very much.
jane williams: having sex with her sister
Steve LeMaire: And I felt uncomfortable because my wife was in the room with us having sex....
Steve LeMaire: and took pictures.
jane williams: really ?
Steve LeMaire: Yes.
jane williams: you mean she was looking at you having sex with her sister
Steve LeMaire: It really made it hard to concentrate on having good sex and being a good parter to her sister.
Steve LeMaire: In the Mormon church it is considered to be a sin to deny your husband from having sex.
jane williams: oh ok
Steve LeMaire: And my wife is a Godly Woman
Steve LeMaire: But soon, her sister will be going away because of her job.
jane williams: oh ok
jane williams: how many times have you had sex with her ?
Steve LeMaire: Not very much.....
Steve LeMaire: About 3 times a week for the last year
Steve LeMaire: Before that it was with her mother
Steve LeMaire: But about a year ago her mother got married again.
Steve LeMaire: and so wasn't available any more.
jane williams: you mean you had sex with your wife's mother ?
Steve LeMaire: Oh yes.
Steve LeMaire: But she is really old.
Steve LeMaire: even though age is only a number.
Steve LeMaire: But you know what?
Steve LeMaire: Sex with the mother was a lot better than sex with the sister.
jane williams: really ?
Steve LeMaire: Jane... I have to go.
Steve LeMaire: My sister in law just showed up at the door.
Steve LeMaire: It was nice talking to you.
jane williams: and your wife knows about having sex with her mother ?
Steve LeMaire: She watched that too
jane williams: wow
jane williams: so when are you going to be online again ?
Steve LeMaire: Probably tomorrow
Steve LeMaire: Well I got to go before my sister in law finds out I'm talking to you
jane williams: same time
Steve LeMaire: I think she'd be mad.
Steve LeMaire: Bye now
jane williams: alright
jane williams: take care of yourself
Steve LeMaire: I will. and you too.
Steve LeMaire: I'll be thinking of you
Steve LeMaire: especially while having sex with my sister in law.
jane williams: you want to have sex with her right now ?
Steve LeMaire: She expects it.
Steve LeMaire: I really don't.
Steve LeMaire: You are so much more attractive.
Steve LeMaire: Now I really have to go
jane williams: are you going to be here same time ?
jane williams: are you still there ?
I ended up getting bored by the whole thing and have abandoned the poor incredulous Jane Williams. I still see her online from time to time, but have ignored her to date.